It's The Time

It's been sometimes I didn't wrote anything. There were a lot of things happening. Sometimes I just could not explain why things were happening in my life. Why did it suppose to be me? Why me? It just happened so quickly that I could not catch up with it, till I overloaded.

I didn't know why, sometimes felt that I was very useless for myself. I felt annoyed of myself, I hated myself. Why I let them to make use of me? I knew that they just wanted to be my friends because of I was a big help for them. I knew that they just wanted what I had in me. But still, I just couldn't turn their request down. I had been compromising with things that actually I should not to.

People said that I was been too soft to them. I should learn to say "no" to those kind of people. I just couldn't get it. I like to help people. I love to help those in need very much. However, I also had limit. I could not go just like that. I also sometimes need someone to help me. But where were you all when i needed you?Why there were those kind of people even exist in this world?

Sometimes I was just wondering that they were actually could do things by themselves; why they just couldn't do it themselves? Also, I should actually not have to remind them all the times to do things. Why they just couldn't put reminder in their HP? Even I had reminded them, why still I had to make the things for them as well?
What's more, I just couldn't get it why they still couldn't do it on time? I couldn't believe it. That I had to do things just before the program started weekly.

Thanks God that I was busy with my school stuff till last month; then, I went back to my home country for holiday for 3weeks. I just didn't know what will happen if I was here. Well, it's the time to pull my self back to the real world now. I should prepare myself to back to those crap again.

Nevertheless, I was very thankful for the break that He had given to me. I could relax, I could let myself to enjoy the freedom, did my hobby to chat, and even I could go to SG for shopping and meet oldfriends as well. It was just unusual for me to do it. Since I had little time only to relax. Sounds weird, but it was very fun indeed. What's more He tought me to always look up to Him only. He wanted me to focus my heart & mind for Him only.

Thanks to the my dearest Daddy in heaven. It feels so good to write it all out in here, the things that had been burdening me for quite a long time. Thanks for reminding me to give thanks always and also to give all my heart fully to You only. I knew I was trully a fool that I just gave half of me to You. I am very sorry for the things that I've made. I am now coming back to the heart of worship that it's all about You only, and will always about You only, Jesus.

I love You so much Dad. There is nothing more beautiful than You in my life. Your love is the greatest of all. I even don't care anymore if they made use of me. I will never feel annoyed anymore. Your love has changed everything. You've changed my life. I just want to live for You alone. For You alone are my sun shine. And all I know that is that I am craving, I am hungry, I am addicted to You! I want to know You more, more and more. I want to know about You deeper, deeper and deeper..

Thanks Dad for giving me tons of love and mircales in my life. Please teach me to love You more Lord. Beacuse of I am not that faithful to You. I may say "I love You Lord" endlessly, but Your love for me is eternal and bigger than my love for You. Teach me to be Your truly humble and loyal servant Lord. Please take a look into my heart Lord, and teach me to bring You more than a song. Please stay in my heart and teach me more about Your ways and love. I am trully can't live without Your love.

Psalms 1:3

"And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper."